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I could say that I wished I didn't care.
I could say that I wished I could look the other way.
I could say that I wished I knew of none of it.
I could say that I wished my heart was in another place.
I could say that I wished that my mind was thinking other thoughts.
But...I don't. I do care, I will look at it with my head held high, I know all of it, my heart is here and will remain and my mind wouldn't stop pondering the facts until my heart gives out.
I am trying to understand myself what I really mean by this, because I am uncertain. Every time I think about Kasha, I can't help but break down. I miss her so much. I could say that I wished I didn't, so maybe my eyes could remain dry for a moment, but I don't wish that. In order for me not to miss Kasha, I would have had to have never met her. That would be like never meeting my hand. It would be...weird.
Kasha, I want you to know that I care for you so much. I love you like a sister, you are my sister. Without you, I am not sure what I would do. I want you to know that after the heartbreaks, after the tears, after the pain, after it all, I will always be here. I don't plan on forgetting you, I won't. This is going to sound corny and maybe a bit...loverish? but- you are one of the few people who really are in my heart. It is aching right now. Bea cause you claim to be so incompetent, so unimportant, so undeserving. I wish I had the strength that you do. I wish I could speak my mind and stick to it. I am always doing what everyone else is doing. I can't ever stick to a label, because I am changing with everyone else. But you, you do what you want, what you think is right. You don't change for anyone, but you will kill for all. I wish I had those qualities. I miss you so much. SO much. It really, really, REALLY sucks. I better be coming there this summer or I shall throw a tantrum.
I hope I didn't come off as a stalker, I know I have stalkerish qualities. I just love ya, Hon and I want you to know that. So, if in the end, no one else loves you, I do. I hope that is enough.
About Me
- Sadie
- There is so much about me. I am very weird [emphasis on very], but I am proud of it. It makes me who I am. Most things I say or do are to get a reaction out of someone. I particularly love to have people be afraid of me or think that I am weird or a freak. If I had to put a sticker on my forehead that represented how I wish the world would be, it would be: BE DIFFERENT. Break traditions, be a rebel. I am loyal to the ones who don't betray. Most people find me easy to talk to. I am pretty much a very nice person, but I can fight if needed.
Fallen Angels
I guess they weren't too keen on being innocent....
1 comment:
*tears* if u don't come this summer i will find a way to kidnap u from florida, it's do able muhaha *evil smile*. i love you too. and ur VERY strong and an amazing person, if it weren't for you i wouldn't be here right now. i loves u=)
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