12:39 PM

I am quite tired at this moment, but I don't really want to go to sleep... I'm not sure why. I reckon part of the reason has to do with the fact that I have so many things on my mind. It's driving me mad... I wish I could just turn off my thoughts occasionally. Sleeping without dreams would be nice. Dreams tend to get annoying after a while. / =
I'm trying to write another story. I'm going to try to just write on paper, however. It seems like if I type a story, I never work on it. So, now I can write where ever I may be. I hope this one works out a bit better. I am going to try to write at least two pages (front and back) a day. More if I get into it. Maybe tomorrow I'll go to the library and work for a while. Hmm. I don't know.
Mom has a doctors appointment with a surgeon tomorrow.. I am really nervous for her. And scared. I know how scary it is to go into a doctors appointment and come out with a date when they are going to cut you open. Hopefully this will help though. I am so tired of seeing her in pain, it's sad.
I can't say that I don't know why...But...I really want a baby. I know, this sounds insanely odd coming form a 14 year old. But, it's true. I see commercials with babies on it and I feel my heart ache. Most kids my age would die if they got pregnant, but I would be ... ECSTATIC ...
Mom said that Darby's mom called and needs some money. I am kinda bummed because my mom was like.. "I don't want to not help her..But I am also not going to give her money and not let you go to Kasha's. That's not fair." So, I really hope that something gets worked out, because it's not fair. I think 3 years is long enough of a wait to see my best friend. I need to see her. I don't want to. I NEED to. . .
Anyways. It is now 12:44. Mom needs me to watch the kids when she goes to her appointment, so I should probably hit the sack. If only I could turn my mind off. /=

As the sun sets

And the moon rises

Feelings wash over her

The chill of the night

The breeze

The scent of the moon

Washing over her

Embracing her

Breathing deep

Lids closing

She embraces it

Cherishes it

Loves it

The feeling of the night

The chill of the breeze

The scent of the moon

Peace.

So yeah.. Just a poem I wrote in like.. 3 minutes. Lol. Nite nite. Not like anyone ever reads this anyways. But still. Nite.

where do you go when you are running away from yourself?

Myspace is being gayer than usual, wearing down every ounce of the patience that is already low, so. I gave up. I couldn't send messages... I couldn't go to where I wanted. F you myspace! Roar. Today was the last day of school. I am still not sure how I feel about that. Sure, I am sad because I'll miss people. Like, I will probably never see Katie again. And, I'm sad about that, but at the same time, I am SO happy that school is over. I just feel kinda crappy and I don't know why. I just need to get to Florida ASAP. Need to buy a friken plane ticket and go. Just go.
I'm really tired at the moment. BUT! I CAN STAY UP LATE TONIGHT! So..I can't go to bed right now...
My wrists hurt from typing.. I hate that with a true and strong passion.
He got my hopes up again. There are a lot of "He"s in my life. If you don't know who I am talking about, eh, sucks to be you!!! I have my eyes closed at the moment. This is a time when being a really good typre comes in handy. I'm tired. GRR!! All of my music on my ipod suck a lot. My eyes are burning. Owwww. Im so tired but I doubt I could fall asleep because my mind is going a mile a minute. =( Ok. Eyes are open. Anyways. I probably should go and do something that holds at least a little bit of importance.




Miss Kasha. = (

in need of salvation

A lot has seemed to happen...

• Snitched.. Feel really bad about it, but, there is NOTHING I can do about it now.
• Cried because I realized how much I am going to miss my friends...
• Got SO excited because my mom actually is seriously going to let me go and see Kasha. Before, it seems like it's never really been serious.
• Sorta nervous to see Kasha. I hope I haven't changed TOO much.
• Stuff with Grandparents.. Ugh.
• School finals are coming up. Stressing over that.
• EXCITED TO SEE KASHA!! EEK!!
• Decided (kinda got the idea from my mom) that when I'm older, I want to get a tattoo that represents Kasha. Or one that matches hers. IF she ever gets tattoos. Why? Cuz I Luuvvvv HER!!! RAWR! = D
• Found out that Rowan likes me.
• A lot.
• Kinda think I like her back, but I'm REALLY not sure, at all.
• Nicolee is coming home in a week and a few days. YAY!

And, I can't really think of much else. Some is good, some is bad. But in reality, I will look past all of the bullshit and crappiness because I am going to be able to see KASHA! Yay. "In need of salvation." Just a week or two and I shall have it. [[Kasha!]]